I'm Living Bipolar 2

I find myself on this the last day of Febuary wondering what Spring will bring. What flowers will I see first. Which tree will sprout it's first bud. As I get older I appreciate nature and the turning of the seasons. Changing every three months or so. Blossoming into a beautiful flower. Watching the trees change colors and glide to the ground. The first snow. Small things.

Wow! This book is intense. I'm only 100 pages into it and I can't put it down. Okay, enough blogging. Back to the book!

https://youtu.be/of6DnCChkH0

I'm using the Stop, Breathe & Think app to meditate! #sbt https://sbtapp.onelink.me/886354604?pid=SBTAndroidAPP&c=Share_app-dl-open&af_dp=dl-open%3A%2F%2F&af_web_dp=https://www.stopbreathethink.com/

I decided to color my hair purple.

Back still wacked out. Sadly. Went to urgent care and the doctor looked at me like I was pill seeking. She asked what worked and I honestly told her, flexeril. She just glared at me. Well, I was being honest. I'm my best advocate. I know what works for me and I know what doesn't. Don't look at me sideways, pretty please.

I threw my back out 😔 and I've been having a flare-up for the last 3 days. Not the best of moments...

Taking a long overdue day off. Biggie was surprised when he came down and saw us in our room. He had some mawmaw love and watched learning videos with pawpaw. Now it off for some breakfast and juice. Did I mention that pawpaw have biggie a big ole swig of Pepsi? Yea, that happened lol. The sugar rush is real.

Went to see Uncle Bill today. So much love in his heart and all he wants is company. Someone to talk to. Someone to pay attention to him. I'm proud to do this once a week or so. He fills my heart with warmth and I learn something about my family.

 You will be missed so much. Chris and I love you with all our hearts. You left us to soon. If only we had one more time with each other. To hug. To laugh. To call on for advice. I was blessed to have known you as long as I did. Thank you for helping raise my husband. Being such a great role model for my children and grandchildren. Thank you for your love and admiration. Till we meet again ♥ 

Tomorrow is my Aunts funeral. We have to drive to Indiana for it, which mean we leave before 6 am. 4 hours in the car. Straight shot. Going to be a long day.

Dogs are awesome. They love you unconditionally and without malice. Sweets is my big lug of a dog. My forever three year old.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Feeling my worth tonight. Loving the curl in my hair. The swing in my hips. The curve of my body. Tonight I'm feeling my worth.

Meditating with animals can be challenging. They always want to be in your lap. Want all your attention. Want petted. Kissed and loved on. I cherish these moments with my cat. Chitto sits in my lap. I rub his head and scratch behind his ears while he purrs and takes away my stress. You heard me right, they take away your stress. This is something I firmly believe. When I mediate with Chitto I'm more relaxed and calmer. When I meditate in the car I don't feel completely relaxed, something is missing and I feel like I have to do it again. Chitto centers me and I appreciate him for that. Do you have an animal that meditates with you?

My Uncle is 92 and full of stories. Tonight I heard about the old bull. When my Uncle was little he and his brother my Uncle Jim, went to run an errand for their father. Grandpa told the boys not to cut through the meadow, but they didn't listen. On the way home Uncle Jim and Uncle Bill decided to cut through that meadow their father had warned them about. They got to the middle if the field, and out from behind the tree came the bull. That bull came charging both them boys. They started running as fast as their little legs would go. Uncle Jim made it over the fence, my Uncle Bill got caught on the fence and tore his pants. The boys went home and had to tell their parents the truth. Grandpa laughed and said his I told you so, while grandma mended Uncle Bills pants. These are the memories I will cherish in my heart. 

Today I am going to discuss why I don't shave my legs. First, it's the most freeing feeling I have ever felt. Not having to have smooth legs have been a highlight of my life. Second, I have fibromyalgia and one of the issues I have is intense itching. I'll scratch till I bleed. I have scars to prove it. So, last June I made a decision to stop shaving my legs. I even talked it over with my husband. He knew how hard this choice was for me. It was taking me longer and longer between shaving and the scratch marks were getting worse. It was so painful at times, so I would wait as long as possible to shave and would totally regret it afterwards. Was two weeks of pain and torture worth one night of smooth legs? People have asked me why don't you shave everyday to keep it smooth or use lotion for dry skin. This is why-lotion makes me break out. No matter if it's for for oily skin or dry skin my face will be covered in zits within a couple days. And shaving everyday is a h...

Got pulled over. Apparently Babbit had something wrong with his licence. They're checking mine to see if I'm able to drive. This sucks. I hate driving and my anxieties are through the roof already. Not the best of days.

Cannabis is good. Cannabis is great. Cannabis is my medicine. Cannabis is my relaxation. Cannabis helps me think and be. I'm blessed to live in a medical state.

We cut Biggies hair tonight. He looks like a little gentleman, not a toddler. He's so grown up. So smart and witty. Goodbye curls.

A big snow storm is supposed to hit Columbus tonight. I am very excited! To bad I have to work tomorrow or I would take a snow day.

We lost a great women this week. My husband lost his Aunt Deb a couple days ago. She was a wiz in cards. Funny ass chick. Heart of gold. She will be so very missed.

I shaved my head. I feel so free and relaxed. I've missed my bald head.

Today my husband's Aunt Deb died. She passed away in her sleep next to the love of her life. She will be missed.

Grubhub is officially my employer. I'm delivering and Babbit is driving. We're doing this together. I'm so fucking happy!!

Grubhub got back to me. I get to work again! I'm so excited!