The end of the year is upon us. It's time to reflect and ponder what happened in the last 365 days. How did you spend the last 12 months of your life? Did you volunteer at your local homeless shelter? Did you selflessly donate your time and efforts to make this world a better place? These are questions that go through my mind of a continual basis. It comes and goes in waves. Just like the ocean tide. My emotions ebb and flow with the changing moon.
Mental illness keeps you on your toes, to say the least. Being bipolar is something of a mystery. You never know who you're going to be one day to the next. Yesterday I was just fine. Happy go lucky and ready for the world. Today, not so much. I just want to lay around in my comfy clothes, funny hat and over sized slippers all day. I don't want to do laundry (which is piling up mind you). I hand out chores like I always do to mask what I'm really doing/feeling. If I don't want to do something I make one of the kids do it .I'm "teaching" them what it takes to run a household. All the while, what I'm really feeling is lazy, sad and worthless. I know that it's just my mind playing tricks on me.
How frustrating it is too. Knowing that what your feeling isn't something that a "normal" person should/would feel. I know women who raise children, keep house and work 40 hours a week all at the same time. Why can't I do that? I suck at house hold chores. I suck at paying bills on time. I really suck as saving money! I'm sure that when it's just the hubs and I, I'll be better. At least I hope so.
So like I started to talk about, the new year. 2017 SHOULD be awesome. I have this theory about odd and even years. So this next year should rock. I looking forward to a fresh start. A new beginning. What are you looking forward too? New house? New car? New job? What are you looking to accomplish in the next year?
*****Like always please feel free to leave comments and/or questions you want me to answer****
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