I'm Living Bipolar 2

The end of the year is upon us. It's time to reflect and ponder what happened in the last 365 days. How did you spend the last 12 months of your life? Did you volunteer at your local homeless shelter? Did you selflessly donate your time and efforts to make this world a better place? These are questions that go through my mind of a continual basis. It comes and goes in waves. Just like the ocean tide. My emotions ebb and flow with the changing moon. Mental illness keeps you on your toes, to say the least. Being bipolar is something of a mystery. You never know who you're going to be one day to the next. Yesterday I was just fine. Happy go lucky and ready for the world. Today, not so much. I just want to lay around in my comfy clothes, funny hat and over sized slippers all day. I don't want to do laundry (which is piling up mind you). I hand out chores like I always do to mask what I'm really doing/feeling. If I don't want to do something I make one of the kids d...

When I was six I started therapy. I remember a brunette, on the shorter side, with olive skin. I remember talking to her for a little bit in a dimly lit room, then we went into the play room. This is where I have most of my memories. I remember playing life or death. She was always on her death bed and I couldn't save her. She was dying. I do remember the death. I would surround her with paper bricks and make her lay down and pretend she was dead. When we were done she would talk to my parents while I read to myself. I felt different. 

Holy shit! I've been sitting here at the computer for over 40 minutes and have typed and retyped so many starts to this particular post. I have so much to say but at the moment I can't seem to think of anything. It's kinda weird. Frustrating even.

I'm not really good at doing this. I should be better, however I am not. So it is what it is. Now that I have a laptop, I should be able to  keep up with all the going on in the world. So here's what's been going on with me. We got into a fight with a neighbor and she called my landlord and HIS FATHER to complain about us. Come to find out she must have been complaining for a long time because they asked us to leave. We have less than two weeks to find a new place. We were going to be homeless. I was terrified and didn't want to do anything, let alone pack all my shit up. The next day my husband and I were out driving around and he found a place. Not just any place, but the place of my dreams. We walked around and contacted the landlord. We told them what was going on and had references to back up the truth. Long story short, we moved in on the third and been here for a week now. I LOVE IT!! It's the house of my dreams. Everything about it screams ME. This is defin...