4-16-16

I've been denied any further look into my claim of disability. What is done is done. I'm moving on. I've already found and lost one job due to anxiety and panic attacks, so we'll see what happens at this one. I'm kinda hoping it works out where I am now. It's laid back. A somewhat relaxing atmosphere and the people seem nice. My hours are nice and manageable.

I haven't told them that I suffer from varies mental illness issues. I'm afraid that they won't understand or just won't care.  My first week went well, I do have to say. I'm starting to understand the rythem of the store and where items go. There's a constant flow of customers so we have to be on point at all times. We do have down times, but not today. Today was busy busy busy. I can only hope that it remains that way.

I'm exsausted. My legs hurt. My head hurts. My body is aching. Its completely different then being a stay at home mother. Where I work I can't yell and scream to get my point accross. I have to use my inside voice and calmly assit the customer. This should be good. Hahaha.

I do see people I know on a regular at this job. It's a common hotspot in the community. So today my husbands best friends ex-wife walks in. This is a chick that I called sister. She was my ride or die bitch. But she lost her mind and went off the deep end and when I tried to help her up, she just knocked me down and walk over me. So I was done with her. I haven't seen, heard or talked to this chick for over a year and she walks into my store with her mom, dad and niece. I talked to her mother for a couple of minutes and tried to be nice to her. I said hello and she just rolled her eyes and said "whatever". I gave her parents and niece my love and went on with my end of shift duties. I went into the back and cried for a second. It was so hard to see her and her family and not cry.

I kept it together until the end of my shift. By the time I got into the car, I was so angry about how I was treated by her, I let out a scream of frustration. My husband looked at me and quietly asked if I was ok. I proceeded to tell him about the last 45 minutes of my night. He was in shock. I then called his best friend to let him know about the situation. He was not happy about it, but he let me vent to him anyway.

So now I'm in a very hot tub writing about my day and sweating my ass off. Time to escape into the bliss of bubbles.