I'm Living Bipolar 2

I just found out that a young man I've known since he was a young teenager has passed away due to a heroin overdose. He left behind two children. This is hitting close to home. I knew this kid. He was a good kid....when I knew him. I wonder what sent him down that path? What happened after we moved that made him give up and do something that could kill you as soon as get you high. My heart breaks for his parents who only had 25 short years with their son. I feel for his child ren who will have to remember him through pictures and memories. For his friends who loved him so. Heroin and other street drugs has become a epidemic of huge proportions. Parents please talk to your children about the dangers of hard core drugs. Drugs that hook you as soon as you try it. The drugs that kill you. Teach them young. Teach them early. My mother showed me a video when I was a young teenage about what happens AFTER you die from a heroin overdose. It was horrific. I looked at my mother with tear...

I just stared at myself for a good 15 minutes practically naked and I hate my body. I've gained so much weight with my middle daughters pregnancy that it scares me. My oldest daughter gained almost 70 pounds with her pregnancy and I gained weight right along with her. My fear is I'm gaining just as much weight with my second grandchild. She's due within the next month and I can't wait just so I'll stop eating. I can't even look at myself without being disgusted and repulsed at my body, it's a terrible terrible feeling and I wish it on nobody. I wish I could feel pretty and thin and like a woman. That's it, at the beginning of 2016 I'm going on a freaking diet. I will restart Yoga, I will continue with meditation and I will be at my ideal weight by this time next year which is 130 pounds. I will do this at home as to the fact that I don't like to go out in public very much looking the way that I look. It's a personal thing and I just don't...

The last couple days have been a madhouse. I cooked. Cleaned. Play dice and entertained a shit ton of people. I missed two out of my four children. My two oldest girls went to get their aunts house to see the other side of their family. My oldest went home to put the baby to bed and my second oldest daughter came home and had 3 plates of food. The animals of the house also get some food. They got random bits of food off the plates of my guests as well as fried gizzards. I got up at the crack of dawn which, is 8 a.m. in my house to start the breakfast casserole and get my 20 pound bird in the oven. Mac and cheese was homemade, which by the way was brought to you by me as well as both cheese balls, pasta salad, spinach dip, brussel sprouts, corn, potatoes and and anything else your little heart desired. I did however forget the stuffing hahaha. There's always one item you seem to forget at Thanksgiving. The end of the night was spent drinking wine, laughing, and playing thunder dice ...

Today I went to see my theaprpist, nurse and case worker. My doc is cool as all get out. The nurse however is kind of a jerk. She keeps talking to me abt my weight. I don't want to know abt my weight. I just want to go on with my life. I know I'm overweight but who gives a shit. I don't. My husband doesn't care abt my waist size why should she. It's so annoying and insulting. Just leave it alone for crying out loud.