I'm Living Bipolar 2

I'm sitting here alone drinking coffee puffin on a bowl and I'm listening, listening to all the sounds around me. The dogs barking outside. Cars and trucks driving by. TV upstairs and children moving around in their beds. And I can't help but thankful and grateful for my family my life. I am thankful for a roof over my head. I am thankful for the food that's in my belly. I'm thankful for the clothes on my back. I'm thankful for the ability to wash my clothes, my dishes, my home. I'm thankful to have a generous husband. Who loves me and takes care of me and worships the ground I walk on. I'm thankful for my children who loved me unconditionally for my faults and love. I'm thankful for my in-laws you have taken me into their family and love me as if I was their own. I'm thankful for the life that I have now I'm a short 20 years ago I didn't have a home. I lived in my car and now I have a family who loves me friends who care for me and the r...

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

I'm drunk. I don't know what to do. Happy. I'm sad. I don't give a fuck. I got denied today, for Social security. This sucks because I can't work. I go through panic attacks and bullshit that is the most horrible feeling on the planet and I can't work. I need No I want to be so fucking wealthy that I don't know what to do with all the money. I want to donate to charity. I want to go see the Opera for the fuck of it. I want my family to be envious of their big sister and know that I could help them at any point. To be fucking wealthy. to not have to worry about anything to go into a store and buy whatever the fuck I want. I want to drive a car so nice that people get out of the way for me. I want a house so big that it has its own movie theater hell its own bowling alley. I want I want I want.

It was January 30th 2016 when we signed the papers of our new house. Babbit and I were so ecstatic and so relieved. We had a guaranteed home. After living paycheck to paycheck for so long this was a breath of fresh air. We decided to remodel before we moved in and we gave ourselves six months. So no later than September 1st 2016 we were going to move in officially. Each one of my kids has their own room now. Even if they don't live with us they have their own room so to speak. My grandsons share a room / Nursery and they love to be together so we keep it that way. We even have in laws that live with us. My mother stays with us a couple weeks out of the year. My father in law however lives with us on a permanent basis. My mother in law lives in a modest house with her husband and dog. She lives a relaxing life and does not need to worry anymore. My father in law loves the library, he spends hours on end reading his books and watches his sci fi shows. Babbit has a room dedicated tota...

Today I got up at the butt crack of dawn. I had to babysit my almost 2 year old grandson because my daughter and son in law had to work. My son just found a new job which requires him to be up at 6 o'clock in the morning. This is something that he is a new at due to the fact that he never ever gets up with His only Son that are early. My daughter however gets up handles heard someone gets ready for work without complaint. I love my grandson so it's no bother to me to get up early to babysit. My husband however cannot do this for he is on a third shift schedule for the rest of his life. So I'm here babysitting for one waiting for my second grandchild to finish cooking so I could babysit him as well. Oh the life we lead as a grandmother.